Fact-Checking Friday: Is That Guilt Really Yours to Carry?

Guilt can be sneaky. It shows up in the pit of your stomach when someone’s upset, or in the middle of the night when you replay a conversation for the hundredth time. And before you know it, you’re carrying emotional weight that may not even belong to you.

When we care deeply, it’s easy to confuse feeling bad with being responsible. But those aren’t the same thing. Feeling bad doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong — it might just mean you’re sensitive to someone else’s disappointment or emotion. The key is learning to stop and ask, “Is this mine to own, or am I carrying something that belongs to someone else?”

That’s where you need to pause and check the facts. Did you actually do something wrong, or does it just feel like you did because someone else is hurt, angry, or disappointed?

Check the Facts Before You Carry the Weight

Here’s a truth worth remembering: you can love people deeply without carrying everything that hurts them.

Before you accept guilt as truth, stop and look at what’s really in front of you. Ask two questions:

1. What actually happened? (facts, not feelings)

2. Which part is mine? (a choice I made, a promise I broke, a boundary I crossed)

If the answer is none of those, then what you’re feeling may not be guilt — it’s compassion dressed up as responsibility. When we take on guilt that isn’t ours, we stop people from owning their part in the story and rob ourselves of peace we were never meant to give away.

You are responsible for your words, actions, and follow-through. You are not responsible for how someone chooses to feel about them.

True responsibility repairs and restores. False guilt drains and distorts. God never asked you to carry both.

Try This

1. Check the story: Write out what happened, then circle only what you can prove to be true. Everything else is assumption.

2. Sort the ownership: Label each part as mine, theirs, or ours. Own your part—release the rest.

3. Practice release: When guilt creeps in, whisper, “I can care about their feelings without carrying them.”

Inviting God

Ask God for discernment to recognize when you’re taking on guilt that isn’t yours to carry. He offers conviction that leads to healing, not shame.

“…each one should carry their own load.” — Galatians 6:5 (NIV)

Let’s Connect

Leave a comment or reach out to me via the website—let’s talk about how this has sparked your desire for better living. I’ll see you back here tomorrow for Soulful Saturday. And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss any future posts.

If today’s message spoke to you, you’ll love my book My Pocket Counselor—it offers perspective-shifting truth and faith-filled guidance to help you grow emotionally and spiritually, one step at a time.